Fwd: Flip the flip
Letters to Perfectionism #167
Dear Perfectionism,
Someone really annoyed me recently. I only realise that now. I judged them attention-seeking, performative, aggressive, volatile. I didn’t feel safe. 🫤
And I think they picked up on that.
“Do you hate me?”
They asked.
Well, you and I froze at that 🥶. Put on the spot with a direct question and a right or wrong answer. Plus; hate is bad, right?
“No I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone. And even if I did, that’s for me to deal with.”
Even when it came out my mouth I knew it was barely half-true. You’d cleverly flipped my real reaction into something more palatable and rational. Polite. Acceptable. Responsible. To hide my barely contained inner seething. 🤬
↪️ So that got me wondering…
In future, if I want to get closer to what I really feel, what if I paused, then flipped what I should say on its head (flip the flip): ⤵️
“I really don’t like your behaviour. I feel unsafe. And I want you to stop it.”
Edgy. But not unreasonable to express. 🫣
Love, Chris x